Sometimes parody is so close to truth as to be painful. But then, isn’t that point of parody?

That’s the thing with aristocrats: they are genetically imbued with a sense of entitlement, a fact that eludes the conversation much of the time.

Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,’ Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu

Byatt explains the dire need to cut costs before enjoying his tuna tartare with a basil emulsion.

PHILADELPHIA—As the fifth plate of his 10-course, $150 prix fixe tasting menu dinner was carefully placed on the manicured table in front of him, Kohl-Strauss Media Group CEO Tom Byatt reportedly told a colleague Tuesday that in order for the company to stay afloat in this adverse economic climate, staff layoffs would likely be necessary.

“The fact of the matter is, our financial outlook is just not what it used to be, and if we want to keep the lights on, we’re going to have to start making some tough choices,” said Byatt, cutting into a piece of seared foie gras subsumed in a rich pheasant consommé. “Personally, I wish we could keep everybody. But unfortunately, I’m in the position of having to decide what the best direction for our company is, and I don’t see any other option than reducing our overall cost structure and finding some way to trim payroll.”

“It’s far from an ideal situation, but we have to cut corners somewhere,” Byatt added as a second waiter arrived with a $110 bottle of Château Figeac from the wine cellar. “That’s just a reality of our business model.”

Following a 20-minute period in which the executive and his colleague sampled a lobster broth hors d’oeuvre arriving compliments of the chef and listened to the maître d’ explain how the lobster had been flown in from Maine that morning, Byatt reasoned that, although it pained him to say so, his company could definitely stand to lose about a dozen people in sales, and roughly another 15 or 20 in the marketing and production divisions.

As the pair continued through lavishly designed plates of haute cuisine at a table situated near the window so that Byatt could keep an eye on his valet-parked 2011 Jaguar XJ, they discussed the unfortunate challenges of today’s market and the tremendous stress placed on those at the management level to keep their businesses financially solvent.

“As you know, nothing about these layoffs is easy for me,” said Byatt, lifting his arms so that a waiter could gently sweep tiny morsels of gourmet artisanal bread off the table with a stainless-steel crumb comb. “I’m going to have to go into the office Monday morning and tell Mark to tell these people that they’re going to be let go, all while trying to maintain employee morale. You can imagine how heavily that weighs on me.”

“But I think our remaining staff will certainly recognize everything I’m doing to keep us competitive,” Byatt continued before deeply inhaling the aroma of a dry-aged bison filet mignon lightly coated in a truffle glaze and resting on a bed of imported fiddlehead ferns. “I just hope they appreciate the kind of pressure I’m under.”

After consuming his dessert courses of lavender crème brûlée and a caramelized brioche with a strawberry foam, restating his belief that payroll cuts are simply part of what a modern company has to do, and offering to have further talks on the subject of reducing company expenditures this weekend at his country house, Byatt thanked his colleague for working with him to “do right by this company” and snapped his fingers for the bill.

“Oh, no, no, no, please,” said Byatt, waving away his colleague’s hand and putting down the company credit card. “I got this.”

Original post on The Onion

46 Responses to “Let Them Eat Cake!”

  1. pavson kan says:

    Corporatism is not free market. Anytime Government becomes a with big business it is not free market. That’s gov favoritism, corporatism, fascism etc.

  2. falkowante flat says:

    to this day the most influential people in my life have been my coaches. Not because they taught me how to tackle or throw a curve ball but b/c they gave a damn about where us kids were headed in life. and them showing interest in us made our teams want to succeed in life because we did not want to let down our coaches who believed in us. im not from a privelaged neighborhood like mark is, so this meant a lot to us at the time b/c we didnt get the same at home

  3. Mike Tyson has been trying his hand at comedy lately and the results have been better than expected (which isn’t saying much). First Tyson appeared on the Roast of Charlie Sheen and now he’s Herman Cain in a new election season parody series called “Live Funny or Die.” The new series is hosted by […]
    Mike Tyson Parodies Herman Cain In New Video Series is a post from: The Inquisitr

  4. audran chounponte says:

    They actually look a lot like the twilight characters, well done acting!! Effects were great, must have taken a bit to do. You even walk like edward!! 🙂 Mine kept stalling though :((( Anyone elses do that. She ate floor apple 🙂

  5. oubashigle oya says:

    eaturbrainz on Young UK jobseekers told to work without pay or lose unemployment benefits. People taking up work experience places – providing up to 30 hours a week of unpaid labour – face losing benefits if they quit –

  6. luis alaidegued says:

    Alright look we all know not a great singer and a little different looking but be mean seriously messed up. You know how many people kill themselves due to bullying & cyberbullying just stop. She may read those comments and you don;t know what goes through her head.

  7. hey i just did a parody of sail by awolnation, could you check it ou and let me know what you think

  8. margadbett madigginee says:

    Ron Paul passionately excoriates preemptive war doctrine – wants the US out of the UN – wants the elimination of the Federal Reserve – resists the globalist agenda – Objects to US forces occupying over 100 countries – calls for an end to unnecessary foreign aid – the right to keep and bear arms, homeschooling, and the Sanctity of Life Act. the CHAMPION of the CONSTITUTION who has my vote! I sent MONEY!

  9. The people thinking on the other side of the equation is just good fashioned cognitive bias. That happens in every culture and for about almost any metric, not just economic status.

  10. salecachar says:

    Actually most of this technology is about 50 years away. There already is a clumsy prototype of that newspaper. Thanks to processors as small as the diameter of a hair that and chips implanted in clothing, and in everything, all that can be possible and 1st world societies will be increasingly dependent on fragile technology to survive.

  11. kerski treetzensk says:

    haha what does that bear say?! this reminds me of the accident I have – that lady sure was Wierd 😀 HAHA

  12. “…Yoy are one of many who we need to rid our system of”. That´s a death treath, it means if push comes to shove, you will need to be “liquidated” for the greater good. People need to calm down before trying to come up with big plans to change the country for the better, before you know you may get what you are asking for and maybe you will end on the wrong side of the stick.

  13. Skyrim Paradise Parody (Gangsta’s Paradise) I like the game Skyrim, and I thought this would be funny. The lyrics are below! However, before the lyrics, I must say thank you to Johnny69s who provided the gameplay video for this. Skyrim Paradise As I walk through the village where the dragon was slain, The villagers look at me and they think that I’m insane! But that’s just perfect to a Nord like me, I love living my life with simplicity! I’m up in the morning searching battlegrounds, Looking for dragons, chopping bandits down, fool… And I’ve been living this life so long, that, Even the Greybeards think my mind is gone! I’m a man with no plan, that is my omission… just a sword and shield on this lone mission, The dragons hide from me cause they know me so well, I’ve done killed a few of em, sent em straight to hell.. Chorus: I’ve been spending all my life, fighting dragons in this paradise.. I’ve seen good men lose their lives, fighting dragons in this paradise.. They come for…

  14. Eretz Nehederet is Israel’s most popular television comedy show. When its seventh season debuted last week, it climbed to the top of the ratings, watched by an astonishing 38.5 percent of the adult population. Among its skits was this sophomoric sketch of American college students on a tour of Israel. It’s been making the […]

  15. Me : All i do is fap fap fap no mattah what, my name is max and i like raping male sluts… and everytime i step up in the building everybodys boners go UP!!!

  16. khall rfran says:

    also I believe in corporatism. This is alive and well in the highest level of our leaders. Lobbying is a

  17. perdalleti says:

    Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power – Benito Mussolini

  18. ahahahaha I just died a bit! XD And I love that seen The Trip, so glad to hear made it State-side 🙂

  19. Socialist controlled Benalmadena council has banned putting towels on the beach in front of sun loungers. Who encourages corporatism again?

  20. Crystal Balls – 2/28/2012 – Joke of the Day

    That said, Crystal Balls is a GREAT drag name. Subscribe Tweet: Facebook: Joke of the Day: A new joke every day and special effects. TAGS: jokes, joke of the day, gypsy, pregnant tell my palm reading, jotd, joking, jokeing, lol, funny, comedy, stand up comedy, stand up, comedians, comedy, humor, satire, parody, funny video, laughing, silly, goofy, random joke, random funny, weird, wtf, lmao, rotflmao, hilarious, knock knock, bad jokes, omg, comedy videos, comedy vids, comedian show, green screen, special effects, sfx

    From: jokeofthedayshow

    Views: 0

    0 ratings
    Time: 00:22 More in Comedy

  21. bortenback says:

    To be honest, I never gave it much thought once that film clip became a meme. I do not know how to explain it, but in the case of the dictator, ridiculing him takes some of the evil out (or rather the power/influence the original had? I mean, even Chaplin ridiculed Hitler and his ilk). Having said that, I would not find a rape comedy sketch funny no matter what it was. Had not seen the library one, btw.

  22. bagnanett says:

    For the third year, Tablet Magazine is presenting Everything’s Coming Up Moses , a Broadway-themed Passover musical parody written by Rachel Read More »

  23. chaud ebaldonna says:

    “what you get when you decide to bet your retirement on an oil company in the 21st century” on BP must read!

  24. coseverier says:

    Spandex Always Rises (Paperback)
    By Daniel Keioskie

    Buy new: $17.99
    8 used and new from $16.59

    First tagged “adventure” by Demotracts
    Customer tags: superhero novel, adventure, homage, action, comics, comedy, parody

  25. hey go home or to a mission. “Corporatism” is the way the WORLD works. Democracy is the way we work and we’re about to fix that. –

  26. Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism, as it is the merger of corporate and government power. ~ Mussolini –

  27. Mark Douglas Interview – Have You Ever Been Contacted By A Celebrity You Parodied? In this exclusive interview with Blog Planet, Mark Douglas known around the world for his work on The Key of Awesome and the Barely Political YouTube page, tells us if he has ever been contacted by a celebrity he has parodied. Be sure to subscribe to Blog Planet to see the rest of this extensive interview. After studying at the American Academy of Dramatic in New York, Mark Douglas has been working as an actor, comedian, songwriter, stand up comic and has also played hamlet completely drunk. Now working as a comedian and songwriter at Barely Political in New York, he has written many song parodies for the Barely Political show Key of Awesome, all of which have been viewed over 1 million times each. Glitter Puke (Tik Tok by Kesha), the Key of Awesome parody, has been viewed over 95 million times, more than the original video. For seven years, Mark co-hosted “The Rob and Mark Show”, and…

  28. kubenicken cosey says:

    We must not allow the disastrous results of corporatism to be ascribed incorrectly to free market capitalism v –

  29. riede noi says:

    ZombieStop Parade (Kindle Edition)
    By ZombieStopperUno

    Buy new: $3.99
    Customer Rating:

    First tagged “kindle” by Nancy W. Poling “pumpkin lady”
    Customer tags: corporatism(85), media-criticism(77), eco-fiction(76), fiction(57), political corruption(52), politics(48), millennial generation(47), media bias(44), hip hot(36), green fiction(35), teenage anarchist(15), kindleboards authors(15)

  30. dems & stop the tiny battles & win the f’ng war, i am the middle, i am the 99%, its me and mine that are affected by corporatism

  31. jasmanek says:

    I’m not sure where you are getting any basis for your allegations that I think I’m better than anyone or deserving of ruling over the “rest of you”. I’m not in favor of anyone ruling anybody. That would be crystal clear to you if you had paid attention to more of my posts. I do not corporatism, and neither do I Statism.  Corporate fascism derives all of its power from government. Eliminate that govt power and you have neutered evil corporations.

  32. There is a difference between and in a free market, when corporations pay less tax than citizens there is a issue

  33. hubachanco says:

    In 1980 Jimmy refused to debate John Anderson and the LWV put an empty chair in his place. That’s guts. Not Corporatism

  34. munsteele shomittney says:

    RT “Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism, as it is the merger of corporate and government power.”
    -Benito Mussol …

  35. Exactly – that’s corporatism. Ruling elite controlling globe of debt slaves. Only 1’s that get ahead are those that cooperate

  36. butt barbong says:


    VOU TE ENCOXAR DESENHO ANIMADO Pardia PSY GANGNAM STYLE () I would love a LIKE and A FAVORITE on this video! Thank You ————siga nos pelo twitter ————facebook: ———–videos e Tags: GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON (강남스타일) M/V (강남스타일) M/V (강남스타일) M/V GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON gangnom dance how to lyrics (강남스타일) M/V GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON gangnom dance how to lyrics (강남스타일) M/V GANGNAM STYLE OFFICAL MUSIC VIDEO PSY PARODY CONDOM ON gangnom dance how to lyrics (강남스타일) M/V gangnam style live gangnam style live gangnam style live

    From: CAnal Fox BlackISM

    Views: 0

    0 ratings
    Time: 01:44 More in Comedy

  37. schmeyaral says:

    Vladimir Putin revealed last week his vision of the new Russia, one of enhanced authoritarianism by means of a new corporatism and in the context of continued “managed democracy.” He and his stress that he is trying to ensure stability in case of future threats to Russian unity. The opposition claims it is nothing more than an electoral strategy to shore up his and United Russia’s declining approval ratings. But the “All-Russia People’s Front” is really his bid to take Russia back to the future. With this project he reveals what many observers have worried about all along: that Putin unquestionably desires to make Russia into a neo-czarist state, albeit an electoral one and succeeding at modernization where the czars failed. If he gets his way, the democratization of Russia will perhaps have taken a permanent step backwards. And this will tell us as much about the Russian people as it will about Putin and the elites who have ensconced themselves in power. The “unified civil…

  38. The PROTECT IP Act seems really bad. Just what we need in America: more corporatism at the expense of free speech.

  39. 70’s was what they called “neo-corporatism”. Maybe original was in mid 40’s & revived. 60’s thru 80’s was boom time here

  40. korski verlausenb says:

    Veteran ABC News and political correspondent Sam Donaldson got arrested for DUI this month in Delaware. Bet you didn’t see that coming! According to law enforcement, the 78-year-old was pulled over after he had driven onto the shoulder of the road. Officers detected the presence of alcohol. Police performed a field sobriety test on Sam. He tanked. Donaldson was arrested for DUI and was taken to a nearby station where he was booked and “released to an adult pending his appearance in He was said to be very cooperative during the incident. That’s nice at least. No word if Sam had been hanging out with Diane Sawyer drunk beforehand. The Hollywood GossipRandom Posts: Rihanna Buys Her Mother New Mansion In Barbados! [Oprah’s Next Chapter] ADELE IS A POTATO! – Amnesia: Custom Story – 1 – Harmsfuls Wrath Rihanna – WE FOUND LOVE (Music Video Parody) Adele- Someone Like You lyric und übersetzung ♥ 007 Skyfall – Il video musicale di Adele The Coincidence of Callie and…

  41. Today is the day that we all change our minds to ending belief in western corporatism & greed & replacing it …

  42. Download here Pierre Baudry
    Leslie Caron
    Corin Redgrave
    Bulle Ogier
    Marilyn Jones
    Marie-France Pisier

    Cooper (Phila. Starring Mull, Tuesday Weld, Sally Kellerman – There are no cliff-hanging moments in Serial. Serial film – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Serials, more specifically known as Movie serials, Film serials or Chapter plays, are subjects originally shown in theaters in conjunction with a feature film. Actors: Mull: Harvey Holroyd · Tuesday Weld: Kate Linville Holroyd · Jennifer McAllister: Joanie Holroyd · Sam Chew Jr.: Bill. area) The list author says: “A sampling of some of the top serials or cliffhangers. Serial | Trailer and Cast – Yahoo! Movies In Marin County, a simple husband desperately tries to keep up with his family’s obsession with the latest fads. Serial Films The First Comic Strip Serials: The first serial based upon a comic strip was Universal’s 15-episode Tailspin Tommy (1934) with William Desmond, an aviation-based. There are no cliff-hanging moments in Serial, but there’s. Alternatively a funny parody or sad commentary about. The Serial Squadron Cinema Cliffhanger Archive Classic cliffhanger movie serial films, silent and sound chapter plays from Republic, Columbia, Universal, Mascot, Pathe and others and featuring The Lone Ranger. Movie Serials- A Guide Movie Serials- A Guide: A Listmania! list by K. Shop eBay!. Serial Films Serial Films are some of the earliest forms of film during the silent era through to the 1950s, often episodic in form (usually with 12-15 and. Serial Movies : To place an order or for customer service, call toll-free 1-800-336-4627 or outside the United States, call 1-610-649-7565 Open Monday – Friday: 7am-10pm, Saturday. The Serial | Moviefone – Movies | Movie Times | Tickets | Movies. Serial (1980) – IMDb Director: Bill Persky. movie serials in DVDs & Blu-ray Discs | eBay Visit eBay for great deals on a huge selection movie serials in DVDs & Blu-ray Discs

  43. Download here Mikio Narita
    Takahiro Tamura
    Yutaka Nakamura
    Keiko Awaji
    Shintarô Katsu
    Asao Uchida
    Kyû Sazanka
    Eiko Taki

    (HEITAI YAKUZA) 1965; plus sequels, 1966-1972 Director: Yasuzo Masumura Reviewed by Paghat the Ratgirl. aka Le soldat yakuza – The Hoodlum Soldier | Japon | 1965 | Un film de Yasuzo Masumura | Avec Shintarô Katsu, Takahiro Tamura, Eiko Taki, Keiko Awaji, Mikio Narita The Hoodlum Soldier – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Hoodlum Soldier (兵隊やくざ, Heitai Yakuza ?) is a Japanese film directed by Yasuzo Masumura. The Hoodlum Soldier was the first of a series of nine films. Shin heitai yakuza: Kasen (1972) Zatôichi goyô-tabi aka Zatoichi at Large (1972) Midnight Eye review: Hoodlum Soldier (Heitai Yakuza, 1965, Yasuzo. B4U Movies; B4U Music; DD news; Doordarshan; ETV Telugu; Gurbani. Hoodlum Soldier opens with a shot of the decomposed corpse of a Japanese soldier in the mud. Hiroshi Nawa co-stars in this tongue-in-cheek parody of the popular Heitai Yakuza series,. see the overview of Kinji Fukasaku’s five-film Yakuza Papers. Wild Realm Reviews: Blind Monk Swordsman – Film Reviews at The. Heitai-Gokudo – Trailer – Cast – Showtimes – But Kiyoshi Saeki’s film is more interested in the humorous aspects of. Shintaro Katsu – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia His film work includes the Hanzo the Razor series, as Detective Itami Hanzo.. It’s an image that seems misleading, since this film is not about battles. Heitai Yakuza – Cinéma Asiatique, Cinémas d’Asie et d’ailleurs. . Shin heitai yakuza: Kasen (1972) Yakuza tokôsô: Jitsuroku Andô-gumi (1972) Gendai yakuza: chizakura san kyodai (1971) heitai Videos – Pakistan Tube – Watch Free Videos Online Watch latest heitai videos on the web with exclusive videos uploaded by users from all over the world with. The Hoodlum Soldier (1965) – IMDb Heitai yakuza (original title) 102 min – Comedy | Drama | War – 18 March 1965 (Japan) 6.6. yakuza | movie The Yakuza (2011) The Yakuza and the yakuza movie The Yakuza (2011). Actors: Shintarô Katsu: Kisaburo, Omiya · Takahiro Tamura: Arita · Michiyo Ohkusu: Houran · Jô Shishido: Kitai · Hideji Ôtaki. Watch Movies & TV Online: Prime Instant Video Unlimited Streaming Shin heitai yakuza: Kasen (1972) – IMDb Director: Yasuzô Masumura

  44. I just didn’t get it. Was it serious? Was it a parody? I came in not thinking it was a parody I guess.

  45. Download here Ester Janecková
    Jirí Mádl
    Miroslav Etzler
    Dana Poláková
    Josef Carda
    Pavel Nosek
    Václav Marhoul
    Tomás Matonoha
    reading To Catch a Man on your Kindle in under a minute.. . 2008 Comeback (TV series) Tomás Pacovský. Rough ride to catch up with our FIFO billionaire. reading The First Meeting (How To Catch A Billionaire) Book 1 on your Kindle in under a minute. Don’t have a Kindle?. what are some of your favourite movies. Wanna Catch ‘Em All? [Billionaire Parody] PhilosAbridged. Cinema Online managed to catch the real-life success story. IMDb Movies, TV & Celebrities: Wanna Catch ‘Em All? [Billionaire Parody] – YouTube A Parody of Billionaire. [MOTW] Movie Of The Week: The Billionaire aka Top Secret.. Catch the Billionaire (2009) – IMDb Director: Tomás Vorel. Watch Movies & TV Online: Prime Instant Video Unlimited Streaming of Movies & TV: Amazon Germany The First Meeting (How To Catch A Billionaire) Book 1: Helen. Movies Jobs News Special Salary Centre Cars News Drive Digital Edition Real Estate For Sale. I would read it again The Billionaire series is a great read.

  46. Talaash Khan Seduces Aamir (Jiya Lage Na Talaash song) Funny Tribute Parody

    Talaash Khan here to make you laugh. Do you like ‘Jiya Lage Na Talaash’s song? This is how I would have done that scene. – BollyWood’s best musician comedian. Animals Mating in the wild, sex, playing music, funny things, naked girls and guys kissing whatever you want to see just pm me. Music produced and owned by Talaash Khan. Copyright 2012.

    From: Talaash Khan

    Views: 49

    1 ratings
    Time: 00:11 More in People & Blogs

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *